Dear Yoga Family, 

Two years ago, on our previous yoga retreat to the Vedanta Academy, I was presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. Our teacher – whom we lovingly call Swamiji – challenged me in a way that will forever rock me in two valuable ways…

First, I was rocked by hearing what felt like a negative perspective of me. My nervous system and emotionally fragile ego revolted internally, and I had to hold back tears. You should also know that in the 12 years I’ve known Swamiji, I become a paralyzed, self-judging mute in front of him—unable to fully be myself.

For some back story, my whole life my mom maintained a positive space where only positive feelings were allowed. We never disrespected one another with verbally abusive language or name-calling. I wasn’t even allowed to say someone was “stupid”—that was considered a bad word in our household. So imagine my surprise decades later, being confronted with my guru’s powerfully pungent words that many could define as “negative” or “hurtful.”

Luckily, my desire to learn and grow was more important than my ego getting crushed. I decided to reflect on how his words were correct and how I could be and do better. When I returned home from that retreat, I straightened out any jagged actions, self-serving intentions, or selfishness exposed. Of course, I still have plenty of selfishness, but I decided to expand my blind spots as much as possible so I could see more clearly and act more aligned.

This decision brought about the following:

– Stopped studying daily in the morning. This removed the pressure of discipline and helped me focus on practical application instead. Phew!
– Started a weekly philosophy study group and recorded the entire Vedanta Treatise by A. Parthasarathy with commentary. (Took 2 years to finish.)
– Found a local yoga studio to teach at weekly (shout out to Valley Hot Yoga).
– Launched a local teacher training program with said studio.
– Strengthened my Yoga Teacher’s Business program.
– Did what I said I would do—even when I made mistakes—by staying verbally and physically aligned.
– Started playing the drums… a lifelong dream.
– Broke unhealthy dynamics and stories I contributed to within my family.
– Dove deep within and healed my inner child belief system. I carried a story for 40+ years that kept me from living my truth… maybe I’ll share that in another newsletter because holy moly it was a doozy.
– Set strong, healthy boundaries with family that, while emotionally hard, set me free spiritually.
– Embraced my “Esther”—my perimenopausal symptoms and alter ego—who was part of the inner child healing process. 😉
And more… but that’s plenty.

This list is here because I had been cheating myself for years and couldn’t be honest with myself about it, which stunted my growth.

Ultimately, I did what I ought to do. Go figure—that’s what the teachings say all along. But it took my Guru kicking me in the ego’s arse to actually do it. I wouldn’t have done it without that massive push.

Fast forward to our return to our teacher this past month. On one hand, I was scared I might regress to the mute, frozen Rina. On the other hand, I knew how hard I’d worked to embrace my flaws and my gifts. I didn’t feel the need to prove to him, “Look! I’ve grown.” I needed to prove it to myself. I needed to know I could rise in front of the Guru. And upon this return, it happened.

In the initial moments, I had all the jitters and old patterns rush back. But I said to myself, “Fuck this, Rina! This is your moment.” And through some awkward internal redirection and external expression, my voice came out… my body moved freely and joyously… and I was fully me.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have massive reverence for my Guru. In fact, even more now, because I was willing to expose the true me in front of him. That freedom is irreplaceable.

And all of this happened because I took my teacher’s seemingly negative words and made them positive. I made them my inner compass for how to live—and how not to live.

That is the power of a true teacher.

The passion Eric and I have to keep returning to India is SOLELY because we know that nowhere else, no one else, will be as honest and loving with their speech and actions. We want that example so we can try to live by it when we come home. We know we aren’t perfect. But we are hungry to be better every single day.

How hungry are you?
If you’re hungry, let the Vedanta Academy and Swamiji feed you the purest, most nourishing nectar on this planet.

You deserve it. Give yourself permission to receive it.

You are worthy.

With gratitude,

Rina

P.S. So all this to say: we are returning again in January 2026 for another retreat at the Vedanta Academy, with two bonus visits to see the master himself in his home. And if those small encounters can change my life in such meaningful and tangible ways, I invite you to come and see how yours can change too.