I find myself under an elevator shaft waiting for the elevator to give me enough room so that I can jump out and run from my predators. I jump out and start running along a ledge and learn that I have developed the ability to parkour. (If you don’t know what this is, YouTube it. It’s awesome!) So, I’m parkouring through some high buildings and alleys and I jump feet first into an empty car window right into the driver’s seat. I pause and am impressed with my abilities. “Badass, Rina!” I then start the car and drive off. I look in the rearview mirror a bit relieved knowing that I’ve escaped them this time… Then, I wake up.
Suddenly I find myself in a large open field with a few stray dogs; some friendly, some not. I walk towards them to see that some of them are behind a gate and instinctively; I start looking for my dog. I can’t find him so I start to call out his name. I am now on a search to rescue him… Then, I wake up.
The scene shifts to a boat dock where I’m hurrying my family along to get in a pirate-looking ship so that we can “get out of here as fast as possible. They are looking for us.” We have small briefcases from the 1920s and are dressed in long garbs. My family jumps in, and as we are pulling away from the dock, there’s a suspicious boat crossing next to us in the opposite direction. We lay low as to not attract attention… Then, I wake up.
Time changes to present day, and I’m in a crowded room holding my niece’s hand calmly when I notice the people in the room start to change their demeanor. I sense some negativity so I immediately try to get my niece out of this place to a safer space. I try pulling her in all directions and I can’t find the exit. She pulls me and I resist but then realize that she is probably more connected to space than I am so I let her guide me. She takes me straight to the elevator and we wait together, while I’m anxious to get her out fast… And, I wake up.
As you can see some of my dreams are epic, vivid adventures that lead me to…. I don’t even know. I usually wake up before there is any resolution. And, I am often anxious in my dreams as you have read previously. It seems that my dreams are sharing my inner need to keep on going and just keep moving regardless of what I have “accomplished” in my life. There’s a sense of unsettling emotions that revolve around my actions in my dreams although in my daily life I am quite content with what I have and don’t have. Of course, I am always challenging myself to keep creating and growing so there is a feeling of turbulence there.
Regardless, my dreams have forced me to pause and ask myself a very valuable question; Do I have to create that one more project, campaign or class, or can I just relax and let things be for a while? Being a highly driven person I feel that the answer is usually habitually the same; keep on creating… the ideas just come to me. I’m not really trying to create. The hard part is discerning which ideas to follow through with. It is exhausting to have so many ideas popping in and out at their leisure, almost like my mind is a motel near the airport and the guests are usually wired, drunk, crazy, or, of course, delirious. Some ideas are so involved and intricate that just by thinking about materializing them makes me exhausted and overwhelmed. And, probably that’s a sign not to get attached to those too quickly.
Now, despite whether my dreams or reality have a path that lead me to run away or run towards someone or something, I must be able to step back and see the whole picture. But to see the whole picture, I have to become more awake. I have to be willing to remove any lingering veils that delude me into thinking that I don’t have any veils left to remove. There’s always more awareness to become aware of. There’s always more ignorance to become unignorant of. There’s always more to learn… and we come full circle back to where I started. I wonder when and if my race to wake up will ever end…
