This weekend was a shift for me… and for the 23 people who shared in this journey too.
But it almost didn’t happen. Why?
Because I was being an idiot.
For years I have been attached to my idea of how a training “should” be. It “should” be this way and that way, with this information and with that book, etc. This rigidity was because I thought I knew what people needed. I realized that this is a lapse in judgment. Everyone is entirely able to heal themselves and find the truth within.
To share one of my “inspiring” quotes from this weekend; “You are an abyss of wisdom when you think you are a puddle of shit.” (Thanks Casey for writing that one down.haha! ;)) I am merely the one nudging them towards seeing the abyss and stepping out of the perception of the puddle.
Three weeks ago we only had four people signed up and one by one they all started to step out of their puddles for themselves – yes – with a little nudge from me. But they did it!
Each one of these students took a leap of faith with me and I took a leap of faith doing this training with this new format. Plus I 
introduced a new text that I hadn’t taught yet and I was a little nervous I would fuck it all up. I was hesitant at first; giving into my puddle of poopoo-ness. But, I chose to trust. I trusted the advice of someone whom my intuition (and intellect) told me to listen to even though my mind wanted to get in my way. And when there were pitfalls or challenges that came up, I just kept taking actions in order to adapt and adjust; to make it happen. I kept trusting and never stopped. Once I was in, I was ALL in.
I, too, need to get nudged. In fact, I know that those that love me the most are the ones who are willing to nudge me the hardest – to get me unstuck honestly and compassionately. They’ll grab a cleaver if they have to.
If I had stayed stuck in my ways then us 24 people would have never bonded in this way. When I asked the question to the students of what else they might have done this weekend instead of the the immersion, one person said, “reading,” another said “working,” when suddenly the answers came to a halt when someone answered “masturbating.” It was classic! Hysterical! Truly precious moments were created and captured. All because, firstly, I stepped out of my comfort zone, got over myself and allowed myself to take an action that needed to be done. Secondly, because so did the students.
I will never forget this weekend and I don’t think that anyone else will. I am so grateful for those who have nudged me to grow up in ways that go beyond my imagination. You are my reminders that anything is possible and that we are here to create our life by fully living it, not just existing in it. With so many magical surprises that arose this weekend, this poem written by Tom Pratt was the icing on the vegan cake with the organic cherry on top.
This is the first poem he’s ever written. I think he should keep doing it. What do you think?
“Man Up!” was the cry
And RJ was on the fly
A hostel nearby could host
22 at the most
The dates were arranged
For the souls to be changed
All drove south to the spot
A Hilton it was not
The front desk bell was there
Reminiscent of the Bates Motel
All scattered to their appointed suites
All hopeful for some roommate treats
The rules were posted for all to obey
No coffee, selfie or roll in the hay
All watched the demise of Miss Piggy in a movie
After which the vegan diet seemed groovie
Dates were filled with good food for the belly
As RJ donned the voice of Vijay from Delhi
All were encouraged to adopt contemplation
While reflecting on the rule of masturbation
Bhakti, Jnana and Karma were in the house
As was the vomit of an unknown mouse
Laughter and sadness filled the air
As the group found solutions to despair
Little by little we whittled away
At thoughts that had no reason to stay
As we learned the right spot for our feet
We knew our practice would never be complete
We learned it’s ok to be, just be
And I learned it’s ok to just be me
We learned to find our peace inside
And I learned I had nothing to hide
-Tom Pratt
“I just love Tom so much! I just want to give him a hug – and I did!” – Andreina Gomez
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