Love comes in many forms and can sneak up on you like a ninja – a Love Ninja – and strike when you least expect it, knock you off your feet, change your “reality” and hopefully kill away any doubts, fears, resentments and unresolved issues from your past.
Of course, before it kills anything off, the Love Ninja makes those doubts and fears so loud that you drive yourself insane with the potential problems and issues that could arise from taking a chance on something new and even strange. You’ve been hurt so many times and nothing has lasted the way you expected it to thus far so what will make it certain that it won’t hurt again? NOTHING!!! It will hurt again and that is the beauty of it.
Do you want to live your life without getting hurt and closed up in your house perpetually getting hurt by your fears?
Many of my single friends and students have expressed frustration about not finding their “one.” They say Miami is a hard place to meet quality people and question meeting someone worthy at a bar at midnight so they go home sad and lonely yet another night. (But they are out until midnight and aren’t they worth dating?) Some don’t even go out and meet people because they don’t want to have to go through that “perceived” rejection. They already have expectations of failure. This is like the Love Sumo Wrestler: large, heavy, sweaty and hard to get off. (No pun intended. Okay, maybe a little intended.)
One main problem lies in this approach… Going out with the expectation of finding someone already puts pressure on your night and on you. You look at everyone as a potential target that is supposed to fill some kind of void within you. This means you are looking into the future already because you are looking for the results of the night instead of what is actually happening around you. This gives rise to being attracted to the potential of the person instead of the actual person in front of you. You ignore signs that might be red flags and you create the most romantic and convincing story in your head. We are all victims of this poisonous epidemic called the Delusion Serum. Since this isn’t reality you are not enjoying the present moment which could actually be much more exciting than the lie in your head. This IS the recipe for the ole beginning-a-relationship disaster.
Why do we look so far into the future and put stress on ourselves and our dates/partners? Because we can’t deal with our present and we have been brainwashed to think that finding our “other” will provide us with the happiness we seek. We sabotage our true happiness because we can’t just enjoy the moment for what it is and embrace life as it comes and goes. Our idea of reality conflicts with the truth and this causes our suffering.
For many years I sabotaged myself and my loved ones around me, living in misery. But now I am rebelling against my previous ignorant self. I am saying, “No more!” I realized that I am the only one who can make my life a dream or a nightmare. My nightmare came in these forms of my waking state: over thinking, over stressing, over judging myself and others, closing up, over analyzing, over working, saying no to things I really wanted to say yes to and saying yes to things I really wanted to say no to.
My dream came in this form of my waking state: loving and embracing myself with all my imperfections in order to truly love and embrace someone else with their imperfections as well. If you think that love will never hurt and all will be fine and dandy as you both skip through the mountains with frolicking deer and birds chirping then the Love Sumo Wrestler will quickly knock your ass down.
Instead, I know I will get hurt. I know I will be weak. I know I will suffer. I know it will take work. I know I will be attached. I already am attached and it’s okay. (I am attached but not possessive – big difference ladies, but that’s for another blog post.) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali say that I won’t experience enlightenment by having attachments but big whoop, at least I am feeling love which elevates my heart so high that I’m hoping there’s another road out there I haven’t discovered yet.
I accept and embrace all of these truths because my love is a ninja who knows her power and lives deep within me just waiting to sneak up on me when I least expect it. In fact, she has already snuck up on me and instead of fighting her with my Love Sumo Wrestler I have surrendered to her and said, “I am yours. Take me as you wish, my love.”
All you single people out there, go out by yourself or with friends and just have fun for the sake of having fun and enjoy your life. If you stay home, stay home because you embrace your own company and it’s your conscious choice. If you want to go out and no one will go out with you, then just take yourself out on a date and treat yourself. Your frequency will be felt by another fellow person who is also embracing life in this way and it will flow naturally whether it “becomes” something else or not. Feel your Love Ninja within!
