10. Identify three things that cause you stress.
It is very difficult to change a current situation if you don’t know what is causing the problems in your life. Take a few moments to list three areas in your life that cause you stress. Awareness is the first step to making a change.
9. Ask yourself, “How do I presently cope with this stress?”
We all cope with stress differently and we usually don’t realize that some of our coping mechanisms are not the healthiest options. Are your ways of coping healthy or hurtful towards yourself? Just as an example, gossiping, drinking alcohol, over/under eating, withdrawing from others, doing drugs, having sex are all coping mechanisms that can potentially hurt yourself. Choosing other ways to cope like writing, exercise, music, outdoor activities, yoga, sharing your feelings with your family and friends could be healthier options. Again, awareness is the first step to making the change.
8. Delete the word “should” from your verbal and mental vocabulary.
I have learned that many of us use the word “should” in order to express where we think we “should” be in our lives by others’ ideals versus our own ideas of where we would like to be. For example, “I should be doing better in school” when you are already a great student is extra pressure put on you. Just take notice as to how many times you say the work “should,” like “I should be skinnier,” “I should be better,” etc.
7. Always ask yourself first “What action will maintain my peace?”
We sometimes react to certain situations without knowing if it’s in our best interest to react this way. When we ask ourselves the question, “What will maintain my peace?” usually the first answer is the truest. Follow it.
6. Have courage to make bold decisions.
As a teenager everything seems like the end of the world, which it very much is in that moment. Because of this, sometimes we are afraid to make decisions that could cost us a lot, but somewhere inside we know it’s the right decision for us. I encourage to make that bold decision for yourself. You are the only one that knows what is best for you. In the wise words of Nike, “Just do it!”
When I was a freshmen in high school, I was walking away from chatting with two of my best friends and when I turned around to make a silly face to them as a joke, they were mocking me behind my back. I turned back around and made the pivotal decision to no longer be friends with that group – and yes, that was the “cool” group at school. So don’t be afraid to make hard decisions that will change your experiences for more positive and healthy because you may be pleasantly surprised. (Update: I made four new friends that I am still close to today.)
5. Make a positive affirmation that will help you when you are feeling negative and depressed.
Unfortunately, we tend to be the most critical of ourselves and judge ourselves the most. This doesn’t change when you are an adult unless you start to train yourself early on to change your thoughts. So when you hear this judgment of yourself choose to use your positive affirmation in that very moment. It’s a form of self-brain washing. Positive affirmations can be “I am beautiful the way that I am.” “ I am strong and centered.” “I am comfortable in social settings.” “I am smart and worth expressing my opinion.” “I am capable.” “I am useful and helpful.” There are many more. Make sure that you don’t use any negative words – only positive ones.
4. Enjoy being your age.
Don’t rush to grow up. Just the fact that you are stressed out as a teenager is a red flag. Yes, things may be confusing and a lot of pressure may be placed on you, but you can choose to add more or just let yourself be however you need to be for now. You have the rest of your life to be an adult. Trust me, take your time and enjoy each moment.
3. Try to align your decisions so that your head, your heart and your gut are all in agreement. This is a way of practicing inner peace.
This definition of inner peace is one of the more simple ones that I could connect with in a tangible form. We can always tell when our heads, our hearts or our guts are talking to us. So when all three are aligned and saying the same thing to us then we know we are making the most sound decision for ourselves. It can be tricky so you have to pay close attention because sometimes we make decisions that sacrifice this in order to be “cool.” Listen carefully and you will be pleasantly surprised at your truth.
2. Forgive yourself for all your past actions.
You are a teenager. You are supposed to make mistakes and be emotional. Make a choice to learn from those lessons the best you can in that moment. This goes back to putting too much pressure on yourself. You will want to create a healthy habit of forgiving yourself early on in your life or else you will carry a much heavier load later. Once you choose a different, healthy way of dealing with the same problem you have healed yourself. This will be proof that you have forgiven yourself and moved on. Congrats!
1. Love yourself exactly as you are – with all the differences that it may bring.
We are all different and that is what makes us beautiful… truly. I am not just saying this cliché to “sound inspiring” but this challenge is something that I feel every teenager struggles with. Even us adults struggle with it, too. What do you feel when you meet someone confident and comfortable in their own skin? Probably a sense of admiration so become someone you admire. If we can shift our perception to understand that loving ourselves and embracing our quirks help us live in our truest place always, then what’s not attractive and sexy about that?
You are at the age of your first kiss, your first a-lot-of-things, that you will remember for the rest of your life. Do you want to make high school a memory you look back on and smile or a memory that haunts you for the rest of your life? What do you want to choose? Personally, at the age of 34 I still smile when I think of high school and I hope that when you get to my age you do too. 🙂
